I’m running out of time to publish this because I had an errand to do today. I put New Jersey license plates on my car. Why am I telling you this? It’s about to be an analogy (link to definition provided because we have some retards in this league, as evidence by the kicker nerf pushback). Well you see – in Arizona, you only need a license plate on the back of your car, but in New Jersey you must have one on the front, too. I switched my registration not considering this fact but refuse to drill holes into the front of my beautiful car. What’s a man to do?

You see, the license plate issue is the David Johnson issue, and the zip ties that I used are the bottom of the barrel replacements I will have to dole out weekly. However, if you do it with care, the way that I did/do, passer-byes/opponents will never know the difference and with a little luck and weekly checkups I will surely get to my destination/yoffs.

(3-4, 12-16)

Matchup of The Week: The Tom Hillier Experience (C) vs The Julio Jones Clinic
Me vs Tj

The highest-ranked-teams-that-have-identical-records-clause puts Tooj and I squarely into the matchup of the week. One leaves above .500 and the other the inverse. The one above? Yours truly, thanks to the zip ties of Blount and Riddick. Feels right this week. Also, odd that Tj is complaining about Julio’s injury even though this happens every year and it happened literally on the perfect week.

Make My Team Great Again vs Evan Steven(s) and the cupcake
Brad L vs Steven

This was almost the matchup of the week based on the matchups within the matchup. I love a lot of the players involved including Winston, Watson, Murray, Evans, Cobb, Steelers D, ASJ and even Crowell for a bounce back. If you were counting along that was dead even, and I’m gonna claim that Bryant will be the decider. Since Brown will have his hands full with Ramsey, I think Bryant will come down with one. Steven – in a nail biter.

Crook’s Trophy Shop vs Beth Mowins’ Voice Box
Brad W vs Brendan

The only player with an outside chance of going off for B Willy is T Willy and it is indeed an outside chance. Clearly this shows that I think Brendan has the best chance to win. He’s not a powerhouse, but he’ll do. When do I get to play Brad?

#myteamgotnext . vs Hopeless ROMOntic 2
Carey vs Weston

Gonna be honest, I didn’t even consider this to be the matchup of the week and I’m not sure why. This is another star-studded one and the difference makers very well may play for the same team – Brown and Bell. I’m gonna go with Weston here, betting on the talent of Brown to break through his tough matchup and leaning on the Brady success formula of late.

# BaDbOyChEeSe vs Intramural Champ
Andrew vs Xavi

Wanting Andrew to lose is not enough, but I do want it bad. Xavi has some zip ties of his own over there and I kinda dig ’em. Sneakily “bad” matchups for all three of Andrew’s RBs and Peterson giving the clamps to Jeffery could give Xavi the W. Let’s go Xavi.

Dark Horse Yoffs vs Team Odelldraft
Tyler L vs Tyler B

Battle of the Tylers. That’s also cute enough to be matchup of the week. Like I said I had errands today, so I’m a bit rushed (still got everything right though). Lopes pulling a Berry and still does not have a QB in his lineup. However, I do not believe he will go forward without one – seems like he’s waiting to see if Bradford will play? Anyyyywayyyy, Berry has some good matchups and he’s deadly early. Will he play spoiler another week? I wish, but McCoy and Zeke gonna go off in this league and my other one baby!!! Go Tylers!!! Lopes especially!!!