A moment of silence, to honor the fallen … Thank you.

The Powerful THE has lost its most powerful member, David S. Johnson (Sgt in the 76th Ordinance Battalion, Cas Company). And though we must fight man down, fight on we shall.

No matter what happens, no matter how many good men I lose – the picks will carry on.
Current Record: 3-4

Matchup of The Week: # BaDbOyChEeSe vs #myteamgotnext .
Andrew vs Carey

You’ve heard of the Battle of Hastings (Okay maybe Tyler L hasn’t), but have you heard of the Battle of Hashtags? Because that is what we are blessed to watch take place in week 2. Will Andrew sit atop his own Power Rankings once this is is all said and done? Or will it be Carey? This is the only matchup with two winning teams. However, as the title aims to show, Andrew does not know how to use a hashtag. He put a fucking space after it which would render it useless. Carey, however, ends his with a space and a wayward “.” Although this is unnecessary because punctuation cannot be included in a hashtag, it is clearly less wrong than Andrew’s. Carey wins, based on this.

The Tom Hillier Experience (C) vs Hopeless ROMOntic 2
Me vs Weston

After a huge trade that swapped unusually good matchups, these two square up once again. Weston went on to make another big time trade, as did I but for smaller pieces. The history shows that week 2 belongs to The Powerful THE to the tune of 100%. There are three things you can count on in this life: Death, Taxes, and Tom beating Weston.

Intramural Champ vs Make My Team Great Again
Xavi vs Brad L

Intern, please go retroactively apply the new team names to last week’s article. Thanks. Xavi, the savvy owner that he is pulled the trigger week 2 to make sure he could get Dak vs Denver instead of Brady vs NO. Cheers Xavi. His defense will be his highest scoring player, barring some Gronk spikes, but I don’t think he’ll have enough to take down Brad and his defense, which will be his lowest scoring player.

Dark Horse Yoffs vs Beth Mowins’ Voice Box
Tyler L vs Brendan

Intern, here too. I don’t know who Beth Mowins. Yes, I know I could google it but the joke will never be as funny as if I just got it right away. For that reason, and totally not because Tyler has Zeke, Shady and Brees (okay maybe cause he has Zeke, Shady and Brees) I pick Tyler. Stafford has a tough matchup and I predict a steep drop off in production for Gillislee this week.

Evan(s) Stevens And the cupcake vs So LA
Steven vs Tyler

Weirdly, I think Tyler is about to start 2-0 again. It will all be over soon when Hyde inevitably gets hurt because he will be out of RBs. Tyler, someone who should have spent a lot of FAAB this week, probably has no earthly idea what FAAB is. Steven, who is not of this Earth, will have to suffer another painful loss.

Crook’s Trophy Shop vs Weston Flakes
Brad W vs Tj

Odell practiced today. Great news for Tj. I’m gonna go ahead and give him the pick this week. The Jizz Man should perform well for him and Mariota is due for a TD pass. Prob Delanie Walker. Brad has a squad with too many question marks for me to support right now. His greatest chance lies within Cousins Pryor Tuddy Buddy Fun Fest ’17 which I think is still yet to come.

 

Oh yeah, I’m in Weston’s head … bitch!!