I’m 38-39, which is kinda bullshit because I totally chose an easy pick for the matchup of the week to get a winning record. That’s okay though because this week I am selecting a game solely based on self-interest.

Matchup of The Week: Colin A “missing”person vs Andrew Pooped His Pants
Colin vs Weston

Weston is gonna frickin’ lose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Remember Tyler Berry vs The Tom Hillier Experience
Brad L vs Myself

One stat that reassures me: The Packers have zero (0) rushing TDs that do not belong to my QB Aaron Rodgers. If this trend continues, I have a built-in defense against his Randall Cobb and James Starks. I do have fears of Crowder, Bennett and Shepard. Some reassuring stats: Bennett had one (1) reception last week and Crowder had just three (3) in his big performance. The most reassuring stats of all: Brad is 3-8 and I have scored at least 91 points since week 7. I pick me for the 12th time of twelve (12).

Charles Schwab Series 7 vs Chips n’ Gronk
Tyler vs Xavi

This is a big game. If only there were a way to showcase the importance of it in this column. Anyway, the loser of this game will not make the ‘yoffs. Xavi is likely not gonna get to watch and play his boyf Andrew Luck on Thanksgiving, but he does have a very suitable backup in Eli Manning vs the Browns. At least he has Ajayi vs the worst-against-the-run 49ers. Tyler has Russell Wilson during his end of the year rampage and the best TE in the game. Both of these lineups are stacked, neither would surprise me with a victory, but we will be saying goodbye to Tyler as a ‘yoffs hopeful this week.

NOMO ROMO vs For the Luck of Tom(In my Head)
Tj vs Brendan

Brendan is top 200 in Halo now. That should let him down easy as Tj wins this week. He’s got, aside from Martin, really good matchups. I would switch defenses and possibly even tight ends to get ERTZ out there. Despite those comments, this pick is non-conditional. Brendan is going down either way and his (my) luck is running out.

Brad “the poop” Williamson  vs Josh Gordon Is Coming
Andrew vs Steven

Another great matchup for Bell, another week we will hear about turning into a keeper league from Andrew. Andrew is gonna win thanks to his running backs and receivers with high floors. Steven’s lineup is fraught with risk. A vegan (Kapernick) against a good defense on the road, Gurley with new hopes and expectations after his first long TD last week, Howard who seems to not have goal line responsibilities, Evans against the Legion of Boom, Cooks who is a question mark by nature, Ebron against Minnesota, and Melvin Gordon who faces a Houston defense that gave up minimal yards on the ground to the Raiders Monday night. Keepers next year!

Team Janice Whartenby vs Crook’s Trophy Shop
Carey vs Brad W

Gonna need Brad to do his thing here as Carey is just a few points behind me in the standings. I’m not worried about it either. Brad’s team can ride David’s Johnson to another victory. If Blount can work through the historic Jets D, Brad should have no worries as his receivers are all studs and Dak is now a top five (5) QB. The defending champ will be taken down by his own Trophy Shop. Sad!

Tensions are high with a four (4) way tie for third place. LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOO!