This weekend is my first drill weekend in the New York Army National Guard. I am probably going to miss every single football game this weekend. Please, everyone pity me and pray that I pass my PT test in which I have done very little preparation for.

It was a good week last week for me. I got 5 picks right. The only one I got wrong was the Matchup of the Week, which brings me to 16-19 (almost 18-17!). Let’s be honest, it’s only gonna get easier from here on out. I’ll take a ten buck bet that I finish above .500. Takers?

Matchup of The Week: Crook’s Trophy Shop vs Remember Tyler Berry
Brad W vs Brad L

Two Brad’s enter, one Brad leaves. Williamson is on a two game losing streak and Lopes is at a pivotal point in the season, as a record of 1-5 could jeopardize his season. This would be the first time Lopes doesn’t make the ‘yoffs. He hasn’t gotten any help with the loss of Big Dick Decker. Does the comeback start now? Call me crazy, but I say yes especially if Bennett scores 3 tuddys again, as Lopes has him and Brad has Gronk. I have my reservations about the trophy shop this week and going forward – I don’t think they should be making any reservations at any trophy shop.

Charles Schwab Series 7 vs The Tom Hillier Experience
Tyler vs Myself

DeSean Jackson will show back up this week in a revenge game vs the Eagles, showing what my wide receivers are truly capable of. If he does not, my newly acquired Kevin White 2.0 will definitely get the call up to varsity soon. I rostered Turbin and it would just be great if Tyler’s oldest player, Frank Gore, were to go down midgame. Who do I pick? Do you even have to ask? Me.

Josh Gordon Is Coming vs Team Janice Whartenby
Steven vs Carey

Both of these guys are streaming QBs #footclan style. Smith for Steven and Mariota for Carey. Love it. Carey has rostered the almighty Romo, but it won’t be enough to save him from Steven’s team. The Ravens will likely keep Odell pooping his big boy pants as Steven’s RBs run wild. Whartenby has a lot of problems and I’m not talking about the crazy old lady that runs the Tony Romo Fan Club.

Finger Friday vs Brad “the poop” Williamson
Brendan vs Andrew

There is a league wide scarcity of running backs that can produce and when you combine that with bye weeks you get Brendan starting Christian Thompson. I think he can actually put together a decent performance against an Eagles team that is likely to be leading and force the Redskins to pass. If this happens, Finger Friday can win. However, it won’t be a walk in the park as Andrew brings out Kelvin Benjamin against a porous Saints D, Landry in a likely catch up position and Bell in a domination position. I think Andrew sneaks away with this one after Bell picks up some rushing tuddys. Plural.

Andrew Pooped His Pants vs NOMO ROMO
Weston vs Tj

This matchup looks awesome in the FantasyCast. Not because of the players but because of the logos. An unapologetic Romo fan against a Romo mudslinger, a tale as old as time itself. I gotta say I like the underdog in NOMO ROMO. I think this game is Maclin’s coming out party, but Weston does have Kelce and the two Chiefs targets will likely both have big games. The issue is that this will drive Tj’s QB Derek Carr to pass even more. The wild card in this one is Jamaal but to me, Tj is the pick. #FlyEaglesFly

Chips n’ Gronk vs Colin A “missing”person
Xavi vs Tyler

Colin’s lineup is not set and it’s gonna be a problem if he doesn’t fix it soon. He has Rudolph in with a bye and his backup plays tonight. If this isn’t rectified, he will have to go out and get a new tight end and I’m sure the pickins are slim. Xavi is faced with a similar scenario because it has been announced that Reed suffered a concussion. He also has Steve Smith in who will not be active. This will force his hand to start John Brown who is going to have a long tuddy against my Jets. It’s practically a fact. Marshall will be covered by Revis and this game will be decided on Monday. My Thursday decision is that Xavi squeaks out another. So go get a tight end Xavi. Hell, I’ll trade you Julius Thomas for Hopkins.

 

There you have it. Winning record coming for #TomsPicksofTheWeek. I have been adding a photo lately. Hmmm, here is a Google result for “Stupid fantasy football picture”
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I agree. This is a stupid picture.