I’m back and I’m late. It’s 9:50am east coast time and the whole league will be awake soon (in Arizona) begging to read my weekly column. So let’s get to work.

Brad W vs Tj (Matchup of The Week)
Picked Tj, was wrong.

Xavi vs Brad L
Picked Brad L, was right.

Brendan vs Tyler
Picked Brendan, was wrong.

Colin vs Steven
Picked Colin, was wrong.

Brad W vs Carey
Picked Carey, was wrong.

Me vs Weston
Picked myself, was right – of course.

Yikes, 2-5 when you factor in the moneyball. Which brings me to 5-9. Not impressed? Here are some of my excuses: these guys keep changing their lineups after I pick, a lot of great players didn’t play well last week and I’m here to entertain.

Matchup of The Week: Team Janice Whartenby vs Colin A “missing”person
Carey vs Colin

These are both good teams but somehow they are both 0-2. In our league only four of twelve make the playoffs so an 0-3 start is truly quite the hurdle. Neither team wants that, but one is gonna get it. Colin is gonna be the loser here very obviously if he leaves his lineup as is, with Stewart in. I don’t think he will but then you have to consider his Chargers D vs Andrew Luck. He doesn’t deserve Julio and Marshall. This is my third time picking Carey but I think all three of us will breathe a sigh of relief when Odell finally scores a TD. The three of us being Odell, Carey and I.

Remember Tyler Berry vs Andrew Pooped His Pants
Brad L vs Weston

Brad and Weston have the Monday night QB matchup, so we won’t know who will win til then. You may say that Weston has the advantage at a glance but Matt Ryan is on fire so far as the number 1 QB in fantasy right now. Small sample size, I know, but he’s going up against a soft target in the Saints. As it stands, Weston has Jamaal in his lineup and is gonna need to replace him with his newly acquired Sproles or White. Gonna go with Brad, as Weston’s best player just had a baby named Easton and has a bad matchup.

Finger Friday vs Chips n’ Gronk
Brendan vs Xavi

Brendan has really suffered some losses on and off the scoreboard this year. He has helped me lose in this pick ’em twice, too. Alas, I am still going with him to win this week. DeMarco Murray is afraid to let up and the Raiders will feel his wrath. He’s also starting Sims who will have an increased workload in Martin’s absence. AP who? If you ask me Xavi’s running back position is scarier in terms of instability, at least Brendan knows what he’s getting now.

Josh Gordon Is Coming vs The Tom Hillier Experience
Steven vs Me

I pick me! Love Steve’s flex right now and I fear what his running back position is capable of. Nevertheless, I have Rodgers at home and got away with dull performances from almost everyone last week. Is it possible for all these studs to do that two games in a row? No it’s not. It’s virtually impossible, says one scientist.

Crook’s Trophy Shop vs Charles Schwab Series 7
Brad W vs Tyler

Power rankings darling Brad W squares off against the most poorly named team in the league. Tyler almost definitely has no idea what a Series 7 is and if he still cares about Steven passing that test by the end of the regular season, he is a better friend than I. Going with Brad here, and maybe I should root for him from here on. As mentioned before, only four make the playoffs and he has built a playoff roster so I’m all about the path of least resistance for me. Anyway, Tyler shouldn’t sit Edelman – he’s throwing a tuddy tonight.

Brad “the poop” Williamson 4evs vs NOMO ROMO
Andrew vs Tj

NOMO ROMO has NOMO Doug Martin, Thomas Rawls, Arian Foster or Tyler Eifert available this week and he’s going to have to drop someone if Ertz doesn’t play. His only hope is that all of Bortles tuddys go from one yard out to Robinson. Sorry Teej, but Andrew will prevail. Can’t wait to read his shitty power rankings after that…

Alright, it’s 10:35. Who says I like my other leagues more?